I had to email around lots of people to come up with more ways to make up ’50 Ways to Leave Your Lover.’ I’d only thought of about ten, and I was fast running out of ideas. It was all getting a little worrying. I’d got a little smug with myself, after thinking of becoming a nun (number one), and becoming a Virgin Queen (number seven), which was particularly fun to draw. And then…no more ideas. So I sent a call out, and emailed asking, well, begging, for ideas. I’d like to thank Adam for suggesting that you could stop washing (number twenty-seven) and becoming a spy (number seventeen). Unfortunately I didn’t include his idea of ‘just eating cheese.’ Surely that would be romantic encouragement? No? Then I might be in trouble.
Lizzy suggested Cryogenic freezing (number eighteen) and moving to a nudist colony in Scotland (number thirty). Anna helped with suggesting at the altar (number thirty-four) and in a hot air balloon (number sixteen). She also suggest you leave to ‘re-populate’ Mars, which didn’t make the final cut but it did cause some questioning; her knowledge of life on Mars is evidently more comprehensive than my own. Or even Brian Cox’s, I imagine.
I got worried again, at about number thirty-five, but somehow the ideas kept flowing. I have Anna to thank most though, for the final option, which is ‘mutually, with a hug’, which is number fifty.
Have you got any ideas? Anything I’ve missed? Maybe we can make it one hundred, but we’d probably need to ask Paul Simon to record another song.
If you have any Paul Simon fans, romance cynics, or someone that perhaps gets through more other halves than I get through Terry’s Chocolate Oranges, then do buy a copy. It’s the gift that keeps on giving, with very useful suggestions!